Processing a Pandemic: Productivity Is Not Linear

Today I cried to my mother. I very rarely cry through pain anymore, so when I do, I know it’s something worth tending to.

I have a history of being an overthinker, an overdoer and an overanalyser. However today I realised I had been blindly plodding along without processing any of the shit taking place around me or within. So, naturally, it came to a head and I sobbed to my mum. The world is a chaotic place right now and we have all had some kind of change, pressure or turmoil thrown upon us by this pandemic.

I didn’t realise how much the mayhem had hold of me until the evidence ran down my cheeks this morning. I had been suppressing my distress beneath the notion that I don’t have it as bad as others do. My mind did not allow me to process the things that have been troubling me because I feel pretty fortunate with my personal circumstances stacked against the anarchy that some are experiencing right now. But when we ignore the cries of our souls, we belittle ourselves, crushing our emotions into insignificance only for them to pour out like hot lava somewhere down the line.

Check in with yourself today. What is troubling you? How can you comfort yourself? Many of life’s strains right now are potent, so combatting each one would be unfathomable at present. But how can you help yourself?

I had been putting copious amounts of pressure on myself to chase my dreams and goals all whilst suffering with the innumerable heartache that this pandemic has caused. So, I think I’m just going to regress and play Animal Crossing for the rest of the day. Because that will make me feel good, and we need more of that right now.

Remember, productivity is not linear. Hold space for grief and for pain. Listen to your heart, listen to your body. How can you take the pressure off for you? Life is not the same as before so we cannot be expected, by ourselves or others, to perform the same as before. Your performance is not tied to your worth.

Remove the pressure. Bask in the little things. Take each day as it comes. Do your best, but not at your own expense. Take it slow. Talk to yourself. Comfort yourself. Disregard rigidity. Regress when needed. Rest more. Seek joy. Extra care is needed in times of chaos, so grant yourself this kindness and hug yourself tightly today. Take a moment. Breathe.

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